Why We Stopped Talking to Strangers and Why It Matters

A reminder that human connection often starts with saying hello.

The other day I was sitting outside a café watching people walk past. There must have been a hundred people over the course of half an hour. Young people, older people, parents pushing prams, people walking dogs and people carrying shopping bags. What struck me wasn’t how many people were there, but how few people acknowledged each other. Most seemed completely absorbed in their own world. Some were looking at their phones, others had headphones on, and many walked past each other without the slightest eye contact.

It made me think back to when I was younger. Whether it was in Belgium or later in Australia, people seemed more willing to strike up a conversation. You could stand in a queue and end up chatting about the weather, football, politics, or absolutely nothing important. Today, we have more ways to communicate than ever before, yet in some ways we seem less connected to the people physically around us.

I don’t know exactly when this changed. Maybe it happened gradually and most of us didn’t notice. Parents became more protective. Society became more cautious. Technology slowly filled every spare moment of silence. Whatever the reason, something feels different. We can instantly send messages across the world, but many people no longer know the names of the neighbours living two doors down. There is something a little sad about that when you stop and think about it.

One thing I have noticed while walking Rusty is that dogs often seem better at acknowledging one another than humans do. Two dogs can be fifty metres apart and they have already noticed each other. They become curious. They approach. They interact. Humans, on the other hand, often walk straight past each other staring at the ground. It sounds humorous, but there is probably a lesson hidden in there somewhere.

Perhaps talking to strangers was never really about talking to strangers at all. Perhaps it was about belonging. Those small conversations at the local bakery, the friendly wave from a neighbour, the chat with someone while waiting for a coffee. None of these moments change the world, but together they create something important. They create community. They remind us that we are not living life completely alone.

I am not suggesting that everybody should stop strangers in the street and have twenty-minute conversations. Most people are busy, and that’s understandable. But maybe there is room for a little more acknowledgement. A smile. A nod. A simple hello. Those things cost nothing, yet they can completely change the tone of a person’s day.

Sometimes I wonder what would happen if more people looked up from their phones for just a few minutes and noticed the people around them. My guess is that the world might feel a little smaller, a little friendlier, and a little more human.